Dear Critter.

Dear Mr. Critter,

I have listened patiently to your tale of woe, your explanations as to "what really happened", and I have heard your attempts to justify your actions three times in a row.

I still don't believe you.

No, you have had your say. Now it is my turn.

You and your wife divorced 19 months ago. A year and a half -- almost two years past -- your wife stopped being your wife.

You have explained the 500-plus phone calls over the last month as concern for your children. I can understand concern.

You have explained sitting in your parked car across the street from your ex-wife's house as loneliness for the children of whom you have lost custody. I understand loneliness.

You have explained following your ex-wife from a restaurant to her home before blocking her car in the driveway and calling the police as merely a father's care for his children un-seat-belted in a moving vehicle. I understand care for your children.

However, I have listened to your explanations, and I have listened to your two free phone calls during the booking process and I am -- by nature and by training -- an observant man.

Do you realize that while you have mentioned your ex-wife multiple times -- in not one single instance have you used her name?

Not only this, but you continually refer to the woman who divorced you nineteen months ago as "My Wife".

Not "My Ex-Wife". Not "That [deleted]", nor even the ever-popular "That [deleted]ing [deleted]".

No. You continually say such things as: "I followed My Wife from the eatery because ..."; "They were in My Wife's house ..."; "My Wife doesn't take care ..."; "My Wife doesn't realize ...".

She stopped being Your Wife nineteen months ago. You've had more than enough time for that little fact to sink in.

That unconscious possessiveness tells me all that I need to know.

The warrant you were arrested on is for felony stalking. There is a petition for an Order for Emergency Protection heading for the magistrates desk and it will be served before your release from custody -- sometime tomorrow.

I suggest you use the time between now and then to contemplate, indulge in some deep-breathing exercises; you could meditate on the thousands of other fish in the sea -- that sort of thing.

Of course, you might also consider reaching down, taking a firm grip on both ears and tugging until you see daylight -- but that's up to you.

Nothing but love,

LawDog