Few activities are as perplexing as sorting through today's available bachelors. Take, for example, the following fragments of men's Internet dating ads: justifiable reasons why I (or any single, straight woman) would choose celibacy. Please be entertained.
REASON #248: I lick the outdoors .
Look out for cactus plants, porcupines, and yellow snow.
REASON # 249: sports and beautiful women make smart guys dumb
Dumb men who think they’re beautiful make smart girls celibate.
REASON #250:Call me before the world ends
Drats! I just got to your 7th digit when the Rapture hit. Sorry, babe. Better luck next time.
REASON #251: two termites walk into a bar...
Don’t tell me: they were looking for dead wood.
REASON #252: I am going to be bluntly honest in this part, I am a guy, I burp, fart and make wierd sounds, my hands are usually dirty, i like beer, not wine, I eat meat cooked on fire, and I will pee outside.
I’m going to be bluntly honest in this part: I’m just not feeling it.
REASON #253: I am 33years old. My Parents are my best freinds. .
Honey, it might be time for mommy to wean you off of the breast. And daddy and mommy could probably use some alone time in bed.
REASON #254:This man likes to hit women and lie
This man is a sh*t who still pines for Rhianna but should be lying in jail.
REASON #255: Borded What 2 do something fun
I dont noded. Want do you have in mineded?
REASON #256: I am looking for a women that no's how to make a man happy .
That’s tricky to find. I don’t no’s for sure, but you might have better luck on craigslist.
REASON #257:looking for that special Persson
And she’s gonna be a very special one.
REASON #258: love Star Wars and met Chewy in the woods once during a family vacation.
And then what, sweetie? Did he show you his lightsaber? Reveal that he’s your father? Teach you how to Dougie?
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